


you're the pulse that i've always needed

by eonflute



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers, implied reincarnation?, implied that this isn't byleth's first route basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 10:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20241196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eonflute/pseuds/eonflute
Summary: You're my back bone.You're my cornerstone.You're my crutch when my legs stop moving.Byleth, Edelgard, and late-night conversations.





	you're the pulse that i've always needed

**Author's Note:**

> [title/summary lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oozQ4yV__Vw)
> 
> i...didn't intentionally name my actual fic titled "gone, gone, gone" after this song. oops.

Byleth wakes to labored, shaky breaths that rumble from Edelgard’s chest into her own.

She blinks awake blearily at first, disconcerted—dreaming is still odd to her now that she has real ones instead of hazy, fragmented encounters with a green-haired girl curled up on a throne—but once she registers the trembling frame between her arms, she becomes alert.

Edelgard’s head is nestled against Byleth’s neck, nose nestled into the dip of her collarbone. Her warm breath pools against Byleth’s chest, and it would make Byleth’s heart flutter if not for how alarmingly rapid and shallow those breaths are. She shifts to bring their faces level, cupping Edelgard’s chin in her hands.

“_El_,” she whispers. “El, please, wake up. I’m right here.” Byleth strokes her thumb along Edelgard’s jaw, afraid to shake her awake in case she startles, but quietly willing her to wake all the same.

Another moment of shaky breathing and gentle whispering passes, followed by another, until Edelgard’s eyes finally flutter open. For a moment they gather their surroundings, until finally she focuses on Byleth’s face, recognition blooming in her face—

Edelgard jolts away, gasping, her whole body trembling even harder than before and her eyes wide with fright.

“You…you’re…”

Byleth draws her now-empty hands to her own chest, clenching them. She knows better than to touch Edelgard, still sleepy and gaining her bearings, without warning.

“El, it’s okay,” she whispers. “El.”

The nickname works its way through Edelgard’s consciousness, and the terror melts from her face like tides receding.

“You—Prof—Byleth,” Edelgard finally manages. “I’m sorry, it was—I was—”

“Bad dream?” Byleth asks.

Edelgard nods. “Though…not as bad as before. In a sense. I hear the screams far less these days. It’s just that…”

Byleth shifts close to Edelgard once more, clasping Edelgard’s hands and bringing them to her own heart. Her beating, living heart.

“I’m right here. You can tell me, no matter what it is.”

“I know,” Edelgard murmurs. “Of course, I know. But this time…this time, it wasn’t the experiments, or my siblings going mad. It rarely is anymore. These days it’s…I’m collapsed on the floor, and I’ve failed, and when I look up—” She chokes.

“El,” Byleth says, barely above a breath, taking her wife into her arms. “El, it’s alright. It was a dream. You’re here, and I’m here.”

“It’s so vivid,” Edelgard says. “I look up, and it’s _ you _, Byleth. Except you look like you did…before. Green. The color of the Goddess’s chosen. It’s as if she had sent you herself to stop me.”

Every muscle in Byleth’s body goes taught. Of course that’s why Edelgard had been so terrified in those moments. And it’s not as though she’ll ever truly comprehend those years spent with Sothis in a chamber in Byleth’s heart, but the mere mention of the Goddess’s chosen sends a shudder up Byleth’s spine. It sends her back to the tomb, the betrayal, the order to strike down the one woman she swore to herself to protect. It sends her back to…

No. That is not a thought for the present. Right now, Edelgard is before her, alive, breathing, and her tremors have yet to subside.

Byleth moves closer, so that their legs are intertwined, so that they can feel each other’s hearts, both beating. Warm. Alive.

“I’ll never do that, El,” she assures. “I’ve sworn to uphold your ideals, to be by your side forever. I love you. The Goddess herself could stand before me, and I’d still protect you. I’m right here.”

“I love you, too,” Edelgard sighs.

Her hands still shake, though less violently than before. Still holding them, Byleth brings them from her chest to her lips, kissing Edelgard’s palms with infinite tenderness.

“I’ll never leave you, I promise. I’ll always be here.”

Edelgard moves her hands so that they cup Byleth’s face and brings their lips together, kissing her slowly and deeply. 

“And I’ll never doubt that,” she says, drawing away slowly. She hesitates for a moment, lips slightly parted, as if unsure how to proceed. “I…I’m blessed—perhaps that’s not the most appropriate word, but it’s all I can think of. I just…I truly don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re the reason we could free the people of Fόdlan—you gave me strength, and hope, and love—”

Byleth smiles, face warming. “And your ambitions are the reason we could even decide to do anything at all.” She swoops in for one more kiss. “But that’s enough out of you. It’s still the middle of the night.”

Edelgard exhales, and her expression softens to something so deeply serene that Byleth feels she might melt away entirely. “Of course. Goodnight, Byleth.” She trails her hands down Byleth’s cheeks, tracing down the crook of her neck and across her clavicle, until her hands rest once more above Byleth’s heart, as if to remind herself that this is real. They are alive, and they are together.

“Goodnight, El.” She cradles her wife—her emperor, her love—into the curve of her body once more, and listens to the sound of Edelgard’s breath slowing and deepening, until once more she is asleep and at peace.

Byleth runs her hands through Edelgard’s hair, white silk against her callused fingers, and prays a silent prayer to the Goddess. She’d never prayed growing up, and she’d never prayed at the monastery, but she prays now.

She regards her newfound dreams with equal parts love and disdain. Love, because they are a reminder of her freed, beating heart. Disdain, because she recounts the sword in her hands, leveled with Edelgard’s eyes, a little too vividly for comfort. She recalls those eyes, hardened and looking at her with torment instead of love, and it seems far closer to a memory than a dream.

So she prays. She prays for this new world they have crafted to flourish, and for Edelgard to remain by her side.

And she prays for the dreams to remain dreams, so that she will not wake up one day to an empty bed and a still heart.

**Author's Note:**

> it's almost 2am but i physically couldn't rest until i got this out of my system and into the world...i am just a lesbian
> 
> thank u to [plat](https://twitter.com/Platitudinous_X) for proofreading on short notice!!! :')
> 
> also pls hit me up on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ironicblu) for more crying over edeleth!! tysm for reading!!!


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